Antifa Protest Halts Wall Construction in Utah


It was 8:20 a.m. when the black vans came in like a swarm of hornets to the wall construction site in the border town of La Panochita, Utah.  Dozens of masked Antifa protesters surrounded the site early, as the working men had barely even clocked in, their heavy shovels and masonry equipment still chilled from the overnight air.

The invading horde spread out among the builders and began setting up tables and signs.  They filled the tabletops with mysterious bags and stabbed the signs into the wind-blown ground.  Each one, with the same message :

One by one, out of desperation, hunger, and love of finely made breakfast fare, the men and women left their posts to purchase and delight in a wondrous supply of donuts, biscuits, waffles, and tarts.  Buzz Henderson, a mortar mixer from the nearby town of Queef’s Ridge had several plates of vegetable quiche.  Tammy “Tam Tam” Plonker, who held nails so someone else could hammer them in, held instead, a bacon and egg foccacia sandwich, as the wall sat, unfinished and silent.

The quiche did not contain arugula, however, because it’s bitter and better suited to making a pesto with. You’re welcome, dieters.

The work stoppage lasted until well beyond 9:30, costing nearly a trillion dollars.  Finally, as quickly as they had come, the Antifa group left, making their way to the next victims, reportedly the crew putting up a barrier in southern Nevada.  May God help them.

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