Area Man With D-Bag Hair Can’t Understand Why He Is Mocked

The truth is right in front of you

When local man, Ben Peenspear, decided to put his hair up and wear it in a way resembling a man bun, he thought that he looked fabulous. To the rest of the world, however, he looked like a douche bag.

It seems he tired of having his hair in his face and his goal for was simply to solve that problem but in doing so he merely created a new issue. He turned himself into a ridiculous looking shell of a man.

On some level Peenspear knew he appeared douchey, but he just didn’t care. He didn’t care, that is, until his friends, one-and-all, began to laugh at and insult him with a barrage of mockery the likes of which he had never known before.

Peenspear was confused by this, totally unaware that his hair would bring such seemingly cruel guffaws from those closest to him.

“These are supposed to be my friends, man. They should be supporting this decision of mine. I expected them to applaud my cool new do and it’s excellence, not point and laugh.

They are just being hurtful. They laughed at me. What kind of crap is that? They are all on my list.”

Friend Rod Gozinya was unapologetic. He explained that man buns will not be tolerated in their clique – or in society as a whole – and will always force extreme laughter.

“I mean, with his hair up like that and that big huge beard he looks like a f**king samurai lumberjack, for God’s sake. What did he expect?”

He is correct. One can only assume that obliviousness to this fact comes with the hair.