Arm Transplants A Booming Business With Second Amendment Crowd

The truth is right in front of you

True patriots in America cherish our Second Amendment. The right to bear arms is god given and those with true love of country would never give it up. But getting the arms for oneself has traditionally been extremely difficult, often resulting in death as attaching these arms on your body at home can easily kill.

No more. Clinics are opening across the country specializing in limb transplantation. Amongst their services is the “Bestial Replacement Service For Arms”, as it’s described on their menu. This involves the surgical removal of one’s existing arms and replacement with limbs from the animal of your choice. Not surprisingly, among those that value our beloved constitution, bear limbs are the most popular in a celebration of 2A.

To prevent the needless killing or disabling of animals, a reverse procedure is performed on the bears and has proven to be quite popular. 

The procedure is simple when in professional hands. Surgeons carefully lop off your human arms at the shoulder. The patient is then shown an option chart of bear arms to choose from: Grizzly, Black, Brown…..they have them all – even Panda and Koala. After choosing the new upper limbs that are pleasing, the surgeons quickly put them onto the patient. All in all, it takes approximately 2 hours from start to finish and the patient is free to go the next day.

Modern medicine makes constitutioning easy. Let’s all give thanks to the practitioners and innovators in the field.