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Articles by Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
Presidentially Sanctioned Satire

17 States Sue TIME Magazine To Make Trump Person of the Year

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

States should all have a say in who becomes Person of the Year. *CLICK TO TATE*

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Political misinformation under the guise of proffering 'satire'

Giuliani Challenges the Constitutionality of the Constitution in Bold New Move

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

Just another day in the life of Crazy Uncle Rudy. *CLICK TO TATE*

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Presidentially Sanctioned Satire

Trump Says Chicken Crossed Road To Attend MAGA Rally

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

President Trump says the chicken called him sir and told him he was doing a tremendous job. *CLICK TO TATE*

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The Line Between Truth and Satire is Thin

Guy Named Steve Personifies The Current State Of Stupidity In The US

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

If ever there was a douchebag you could just laugh at, it’s Steve. *CLICK TO TATE*

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A Wall of Satire

Mexico Agrees To Pay For The Wall: ‘Y’all Can Keep That Sh*thole’

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

Mexico has decided on a shift in policy. *CLICK TO TATE*

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Presidentially Sanctioned Satire

Trump Deems Bankruptcy Attorneys Essential Businesses

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

He wouldn’t be the man he is today without them. *CLICK TO TATE*

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Scientific Satire Like Shroedinger's Cat

Scientists Warn Conservatives: COVID 19 May Result in Unwanted Empathy and Compassion

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

The last thing we need is for our patriots to start caring about each other. *CLICK TO TATE*

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Presidentially Sanctioned Satire

After Analyzing The Mess He’ll Leave, Democrats Decide Trump Can Keep His Stupid Job

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

Are you freaking kidding me? You deal with it. *CLICK TO TATE*

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Obama Fan Fiction

Report: Obama Pissed After Seeing the Shit He Coulda Got Away With

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

Wife and daughters reportedly forced to remind him he was still black. *CLICK TO TATE*

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Presidentially Sanctioned Satire

NOAA Backs Trump’s Alabama Claim, Assigns Hurricanes to RNC from now on.

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

The truth? Who dafuq cares anymore. *CLICK TO TATE*

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Presidentially Sanctioned Satire

Trump Strongly Considering North Korea’s Offer To Sell Us Guam

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

Air Force One is wheels-up and headed back to Pyongyang. *CLICK TO TATE*

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Nancy Pelosi the Alcoholic Fan Fiction

Hillary Clinton Run Down by Drunk-Driving Nancy Pelosi

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

*CLICK TO TATE*

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Political misinformation under the guise of proffering 'satire'

Trump to Award Medal of Freedom Posthumously to Nessa Thropp

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

They tried to tell him it wasn’t real, but he was having what the Secret Service affectionately calls ‘an episode.’ *CLICK TO TATE*

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Tariff-Free Chinese Satire

China Steps Up Climate Change Hoax In Response To Trade War

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

Ghina is the one making it all happen people. GHINA!!! *CLICK TO TATE*

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Presidentially Sanctioned Satire

Trump Issues $14 Billion in McDonalds Gift Cards to Hungry Farmers and Auto Workers

Flagg Eagleton-Patriot

He said he would come through for them and he did. *CLICK TO TATE*

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