Blacked-Out Drunk Nancy Pelosi Crashes An AA Meeting — With Her Car

Nancy Pelosi was apparently on her way to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous tonight when she forgot a couple of things. First, she forgot not to drink. That’s okay; AA doesn’t mind if you’re drunk as long as you don’t bring your booze in.

Unfortunately, however, she also forgot not to drive. Because…she was drunk. She crashed her government issue black sedan into an unassuming little church in Georgetown, Maryland, less than two miles from her Senate office.

By the time police arrived, the members of the meeting, including Joe Biden and Anthony Weiner, had already come up with a cover story, written a check for the damages, gave a big hug and a D pic, respectively, and took nancy to another meeting on H Street.

There her sponsor, Mitch McConnell, was waiting sternly with crossed arms, upset that he was again unable to catch her in the act so he could impeach her in the morning:

“Nancy has always been lucky that way. At least as her sponsor I can be glad she made it alive for her 304th white chip, which is a record in the DC area.”

McConnell wouldn’t comment on how many chips he has but did hint that there was a time you could find him at Ollie’s Trolley “bingeing on twice-dipped fries and two-day-old reheated burgers” while he drank whiskey from a flask in plain sight. “The place was empty unless there were tourists around. Locals know the food sucks and the company is me,” Mitch once confided in a pal.

Pelosi will get away with it again. The Dems get away with everything.

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About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 32 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.