Coke Turns Its Back On Christmas

The truth is right in front of you.

The image of the jolly old fat man that we know as Santa Claus today was created by the Coca-Cola Beverage Company, we are told. He began to appear on their products during the Christmas season in blitz advertising campaigns and was soon seen by all as the face of Christmas. So Coke loves Christmas, right?

Not anymore, it seems.

Beginning this year, Coca-Cola will no longer be advertising with the Santa Claus figure. In fact, they will not show any representations of Christmas at all. They are joining the War on Christmas ……and they’re not fighting with the good guys.

Coke doesn’t seem to have a problem with Arabic branding.

Coca-Cola says the move comes as they try to become “more ethnically sensitive” – code for “politically correct”. Chief Marketing Consultant Lady, Sandy Batt, explains :

“When the Coca-Cola Company began its Christmas marketing campaigns, it was a different time. Most people were Christian so we capitalized on that. To be honest, it was nothing more than a way to make a quick buck. It was so easy. Christians are sheep.  And we made out large.

But now, the population is more ethically and religiously diverse and we need to be mindful of that. We could start developing campaigns for Christmas, and Hanukah, and Ramadan, and whatever Buddhists do, but that would be complicated and expensive. So we’re doing away with all of them. You want religion, have religion. At home. Don’t expect it from us.

Does this mean we have to start drinking Faygo ??

We do expect Christians to make some noise about this but we are willing to wait it out. Christians are a whiny bunch but they also have no staying power. We’re not worried.”

So now our favorite soft drinks are joining the battle against Christian traditions. It seems the War On All That Is Holy is far from over.