Dog Walking Man Wonders Why Nobody Praises Him For His Bowel Movements

The truth is right in front of you

Louie Colon loves his dog…..adores him. He pours unconditional love upon Hamlet and takes him everywhere he goes. They are a perfect example of the relationship between man and his best friend.

Because of their constant excursions, Hamlet is very well exercised, with plenty of opportunities for outdoor running and play. Occasionally on their outings, of course, Hamlet will have to “do his business” and when he does, Louie dutifully picks it up, then invariably heaps praise upon his dog.

“Good boy Hamlet! That’s a good boy!” Hamlet accepts the kind words and proudly marches away, secure in the knowledge that his defecation in the great outdoors was a good thing.

Last week, that got Louie to thinking :

“I poop everyday. Why is it that I’m not praised?”

This has been on his mind, perplexing him for days. Mr. Colon sat down with us to discuss the matter :

“I just don’t get it. I give Ham an endless stream of compliments when he does his thing. Both for the act itself and for doing so outside.

I’m good. I don’t drop loads where I’m not supposed to. Always in the toilet. You’d think my wife would congratulate me once in awhile.”

“How about a little love for putting the lid down?” added Colon.

This has become a huge source of discontent in the relationship Louie has with his spouse. His wife has called him “disgusting” for suggesting that she give kudos for poo but he persists.

“I don’t need much. I’d just like to know my toilet exercises are appreciated. I don’t necessarily need words. I’d settle for a simple belly rub.”

We’re hoping you get what you deserve, Louie. Good luck.