Hello. This is award winning journalist Fallis Gunnington from the America’s Last Line of Defense network. You may know me from such satirical articles as : “Liberace The Transgender Dog”, and “Company Makes Millions with Abortion Cloning.” Thank you very much.
I’m here to assure Facebook and all its amazing fact checkers and content moderators that they are the true heroes when it comes to keeping everything real during the election season. We, as a purely satirical and well-labeled collection of pages, appreciate the hard work you do. You bots and auto algorithms too! We didn’t forget you! Great job! Or, as you might say, “10010110001010 10010011!”
As you can see from our, again, purely satirical and mostly comedic content, we practice restraint. We take pride in not publishing anything that might convince a brain-dead trumper to hurt him or herself. We stopped everything concerning that guy who’s name is a letter, and don’t condone any violence by the raised-fist people that Trump hates. We’re super not racist. We never told anyone they’re holding the vote in December this year. Even though you know damn well that would work on these idiots.
Nope, we’re just saying we get it. And we love you guys and gals. We have a truck driver if you guys want him to honk that big horn when he comes through. Everyone loves that. We have a woman who takes really good pictures of dogs. Like Time Magazine quality. I think her camera cost more than my car did.
At any rate, you guys keep doing what you’re doing. Just wanted to drop you a little line before i start writing about Mike Pence being Charles Manson’s stepbrother. Ha! Just kidding. Don’t worry about that one. We’ll let the Pakistani troll farms die with that one. Okay, so Mazel Tov and see you guys soon! Hey! BIG heart!