Mueller Confirms Not Denying Crimes Weren’t Not Committed Illegally in Report, Quits

HUH?

Special Prosecutor set out this afternoon to clear the air on live television about his completed report on President Trump.  The former Marine Republican gumshoe positively confirmed his previous unspoken non-denial that President Trump didn’t not illegally refrain from committing prosecutable crimes in an illegal manner, which he slightly concealed within the document in a manner of speaking.  Then, with what appeared to be a quick two-step shuffle and a tip of his fedora, he quit, skipping out a side door and onto a waiting motorcycle which propelled him into the sky, never to be seen again.

Possibly to meet Sandy and Danny at the big Sock Hop on Uranus. It’s gonna be the bee’s knees.

Political experts and news pundits are struggling to understand the full consequences of whatever the hell just happened.  Even the mid-day edition of the New York Times appeared unsure :

What Mueller appears to be saying is that Donald Trump indeed committed crimes, however, he can’t be punished for them, which he doesn’t have the authority to say outright.  Because Trump is the President.  Wait, let’s start over.  He said he didn’t NOT find anything that could constitute criminal activity.   Or didn’t he? Okay, first he said there was maybe a little Russian collusion, but Trump didn’t know.  Maybe didn’t know.  You know what, just skip to page C–6, the crossword puzzle’s really good today.

Hint : 15 Across, 9 letters, “Guy Who Had To Be a Big Shot.”

Could this stunning non-definite possibly impossible revelation hurt Trump in the 2020 election?  Such a possibility remains to either be seen, or not to be unseen.