Twin Bone Spurs Diagnoses Sideline Eric and Don Jr From Iran Service

The truth is right in front of you

The Trump men just always seem to have bad luck. President Trump was himself unable to serve in Vietnam because of a bone spurs diagnosis. and now his two boys, Eric and Don Junior, have been similarly afflicted. Both of the two Trumps reported for enrolment physicals today, in hopes that they would be able to serve the country by fighting the evil Iranian so-and-so’s.

Unfortunately, that will not come to pass. Family physician Dr. Gonzo diagnosed each with an inherited bone spurs condition, disqualifying them from military service. The news was devastating to the two young men.

The doctor confirmed their report for us:

“I’ve never seen anything like it. The x-rays of President Trump were made available to me by his former doctor. I saw his condition from half a century ago.

These two strapping young man are suffering from the same debilitating injury. Exactly the same. Here, let me show you the x-ray. Where it says Donald John Trump on the film, just pretend it says Eric and/or Donald Junior. Trust me. It’s the same.

It’s terrible and these two Trumps are truly devastated.”

Donald Jr could barely hold back the tears as he said,

“My whole life all I’ve wanted is to serve proudly in our nation’s military. Now I find that I am unable. Words cannot describe my immense disappointment. I should have enlisted sometime in the previous 20 years instead of waiting for my father’s reelection war. Oh well. Live and learn.

I think Eric is sad too.”

It must be awful to have such tragic genes. Genetics disqualifies Trumps from service time and time again. Thankfully, they will serve us in the future political arena.