School of Hard Knocks Accused of Providing Sub-Par Education

The truth is right in front of you

The very popular School of Hard Knocks has come under fire recently with accusations that the education they provide is of extremely low standard and does not meet basic minimum guidelines required of learning establishments. The accusations follow an examination of the grammar, mathematics, and history knowledge of its graduates as seen through comments on Facebook and other social media.

The commentary study was begun after thousands of complaints poured into the Department of Education from Facebook users across America who had noticed peculiar commonalities in the knowledge gaps of those whose profiles indicated they’d attended the school. To a man, such folks were unable to differentiate between “there”, “their”, and “they’re”. A similar problem was noticed regarding the words “you’re” and “your”. In each of these cases, Hard Knocks grads continually misused these variations of the same sounding words, unable to select the form most accurately representing their thoughts in written form.

Complainants also noted particular false history knowledge demonstrated by those who attended the popular school. For example, they overwhelmingly felt that Hitler and the Nazi Party were socialists, despite all evidence to the contrary and they had never learned of the Articles of Secession issued by the Southern Confederate States prior to the American Civil War. These declarations, of course, clearly stated that the fight for the right to own slaves was the primary reason for seceding from the United States. Hard Knocks students seem to have been taught that slavery was not an issue in the war at all.

Add to these the massive amounts of basic spelling errors, inability to perform basic math functions, and intellectual rejection of verifiable evidence in favor of debunked conspiracy theories and online speculation, and it was clear that the School of Hard Knocks was not teaching at academic levels put into place by federal regulators.

An investigation has begun by the Department of Education which may lead to decertification of the institute and nullification of all diplomas obtained from it.