Hillary Clinton has never been much of a churchgoer. She has lived a life of evil and sin. Her life’s mission has been to cause sadness and pain.
Clinton actually always seem to be almost afraid to go to church. Whenever the idea to attend services was suggested during her 2016 campaign, she ran away from it. It would not even be considered. And now we know why.
While attending a funeral service this morning, Hillary had no choice but to go in to the House of God, when the rest of the mourners did. Do not do so would have been quite unseemly, ostracizing her from her peer group. So she did. Slowly. Inching her way in while casting furtive, darting glances left and right, a look of sheer terror on her face.
Once fully within the walls of the church she seemed relieved. She sighed heavily and smiled broadly, then pumped her fist in the air a few times.
But as she began to confidently walk forward, something happened. Smoke began to emanate from her body. This was rapidly followed by sparks and small flames. Within 30 seconds, Hillary Clinton’s entire body was engulfed in flames. Thirty seconds after that, all that remains was a pile of ash on the floor.
Police and medical examiners are unable to explain what caused the spontaneous combustion, but to us it seems clear. The devil got her due.
RIP Hillary. May the eternal flames of hell renew your body and spirit.