Hillary Clinton Dies A Tweaker

The truth is right in front of you

Life after politics has been hard on Hillary Clinton. No longer in the spotlight, she quickly fell into deep depression and her life into disarray. As with many unfortunate souls who experience such a mental imbalance, she began to self-medicate and this, sadly, has led to her death.

Hillary Clinton’s drug addled body was found in a “shooting gallery” this past weekend, filled with toxicity from gloobies, a designer drug that has recently become all the rage on the street. She began her gloobie injections shortly after losing the presidency and, over time, her habit only became worse. As the demand for her public appearances lessened, her frequency of consumption grew.

She described the high to her husband, Bill, as “pure euphoria. I’m president. Everybody loves me. Everybody wants me. Even you.” Bill, for his part, allowed her to continue on, he said, because it left him free to screw around without possibility of detection. “A win-win,” he said.

But after being swept up by police in a gloobie raid and being charged with possession of a controlled substance, Hillary’s unravelling progressed. Her despondency could no longer be kept in check. It seemed she was now trying to end it all. And she succeeded on Sunday morning with one final, massive hit. A sad end to a glorious life.

RIP Hillary. May you lead with strength in that America in the sky.