Hillary Clinton is no more. Her week-long trip to Washington was cut short when she woke up dead this morning. According to those close to her when it happened, it was a complete surprise. Huma Abedin, her best friend and secret lover, says she never saw it coming:
“I never saw it coming.”
Clinton herself hasn’t commented on her death, because she’s dead, but a guy at the hospital named Lou said she was well-respected and a vital member of the community. Abedin gave him 10 bucks and a pack of smokes.
This concludes the killing for this week. Sorry. I’m out of weed.