Hillary Loses Her Head In Sword Swallowing Accident

The truth is right in front of you.

Tragedy has struck the Clinton family yet again. And once again, Hillary’s early and unnatural demise is the source of the mourning.

Early this morning, while training for a revival of “Circus of the Stars”, Hillary Clinton was involved in a horrible sword swallowing accident – one in which she  actually lost her head.

She was in rehearsals for a premiere  episode of the new series due to air in three months time. In it, the former First Lady and former Secretary of State was working on a performance in which she would “swallow” two sabres. In fact, the swords that entered her mouth were to be collapsible, with nothing actually going into her throat.

Unfortunately, one of the stage hands appeared to have not gotten that memo. For when rehearsals began, Hillary grabbed what she thought were mock swords and began to cram them down her into her mouth. When they  didn’t immediately collapse, she pushed a little harder… And then she pushed too hard. The first sword is all that was needed. Under her own power, it travelled down into her throat and sliced through, chopping off her head at the neck.

As of publication time, ABC had yet to respond to our requests for comment. It is still unclear if that intend to air her self-beheading.