Hillary Clinton met her end today after succumbing to injuries sustained weeks ago after a mishap in a chemical plant. She was 63 years old.
The chemical incident happened three weeks ago at the Royal Monarch Playing Card plant, I think, that she had no business being in, but she pushed her way into anyway for reasons unknown. Once inside, she ran around on the elevated platforms like a child, all the while being chased by security and eventually, the police.
It was all fun and games to her until one misstep sent her flying over a railing into a chemical vat below that was left uncovered by slacker employees. She survived the fall but emerged extremely scarred – her lips bright red and twisted into a maniacal smile, her skin chalk white, and her hair bright green……and she seemed a little more crazy than usual.
She ranted endlessly about being the real president and the one the people really wanted – even more than she did before the mishap. This went on endlessly and she became progressively more infatuated with the thought until the chemical injuries eventually ate through her internal organs and she passed away
RIP Hillary. May you become president of the world found in the afterlife