Hired By Trump, General Zod, Succeeds In Locking Up Hillary

The truth is right in front of you

Trump’s 2016 campaign promised to finally lock up Hillary Clinton for her many unnamed crimes but here we are, 3 years later, and she is still free as a bird and openly mocking the President for his inability to fulfill his promise to the American people.

It was only a matter of time before Trump grew so frustrated that he would take more extreme measures to capture the super villain. This week, he did just that by hiring a super villain of his own to bring Hillary to justice. General Zod, legendary Kryptoniam nemesis of Superman, was located by underworld figure, Joe Barron, and contracted to locate, arrest, and throw into a prison the former First Lady…. and today he made good.

Zod easily tracked down Clinton and outmuscled her using his extraordinary earthly strength as she tried to evade capture. Her fists flailed at the air as the General picked her up by the the back of her pantsuit and flung her around like a rag doll. In the end, she lay crumpled on the ground, a shell of her former smug self.

But rather than turn her over to authorities, he decided to put her in a prison himself, choosing the rectangular glass like sheet he was once imprisoned in, and there she now resides, floating aimlessly in space for eternity.

President Trump was said to be enormously pleased and plans to award General Zod a Congressional Medal of Freedom. The official announcement of Hillary’s fate will be made Monday.