A shocking and tense standoff occurred at ABC Television studio headquarters only hours ago, as contestant and finalist Alejandro Arona was interrupted during his rehearsal of U-2’s “One” by an armed contingent of agents from the Immigration department. Tonight is the final episode of the season, during which the newest American Idol will be selected. Arona had made it to the final three, and was expected to win easily, since the other two kids have negligable amounts of talent.
The bust happened at 3:38 Pacific time after agents were directed to respond to reports of an illegal immigrant about to ascend to the throne of America’s sweetheart, something that has not ever happened, and will not ever happened. No one was injured in the acquisition except for pop singer and judge Katy Perry, who slipped and fell over her own feet while attempting to escape. Studio sources revealed that Perry assumed the agents were invading medical specialists coming to force her to finally enter into puberty.
ABC and it’s parent company Disney have denied allegations that Alejandro was in the country illegally, and in fact, when asked for identification, the young man displayed a valid driver’s license. However, in Trump’s America, it’s better safe than sorry, so Arona will have to miss his once-in-a-lifetime chance at achieving the American dream, ironically, because he is too brown of an American. Well, you know what they say in your country, kid : C’est la vie.