Valentine’s Day has come again, and being the classy American Adonis that our President is in his heart, he has gone all out. His daughter Ivanka received a beautiful card, hand-written with the message : “To my greatest work, my masterpiece, my hottest potato – Love, your Valentine, Daddy.” Accompanying the card was an amazing set of matching red Victoria’s Secret panties, top, nylons, and thigh-boots. The package was lovingly wrapped up with a golden bow with the Presidential seal.
The gift was made public as a celebratory display, yet White House staffers have refused to comment, many eluding reporters and locking themselves away on their offices. Even press secretary Sarah Huckabee-Sanders was unavailable, and is said to be spending Valentine’s Day eating cold ramen noodles from a cup in her Honda Civic watching episodes of “Monk” on her phone by herself.
It is unknown as of yet what gift or gesture President Trump made to the First Lady today, but Fox News cameras did capture a photo of Vice President Pence wearing an elf costume carrying a “Fudgy The Whale” ice cream cake emblazoned with the name “Melanie” on the front on the White House veranda.