John Travolta Re-Enters Plastic Bubble


Actor John Travolta, who more than 40 years ago spent a significant portion of his teenage years within the confines of a large hermetic plastic “bubble” due to a rare immunity disease, has once again quarantined himself in the same structure in response to today’s current pandemic crisis.

“I’ll just stuff your homework into your little blowhole, sweathog.”

Although his wife and family members remain outside of the bubble in order to provide sustunence, support, and aid in changing the TV channel, neighbors report that the household is running as usual, with the exception of Travolta constantly complaining about missing his Scientology meetings.  He has also soiled his pants more than a dozen times.

Travolta’s bubble was gently brought out of storage from the actor’s garage, where it had only been revisited once in the past several decades, during the filming of “Face Off”, when fellow actor Nicholas Cage began talking non-stop about mixed-berry enemas to the frustration of the movie’s cast and crew.  During that incident, Travolta was bubbled for three days.  Personal assistant Joe Barron told reporters that the current stay will no doubt be quite a bit longer.

Many magazine and paparazzi figures have speculated that other actors may soon follow a similar strategy, with Robert Downey Jr. possibly seeking safety within one of many Iron Man suits and Corey Feldman retreating into his air-tight Donatello costume from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film. Is Hollywood the newest victim of this frightening pandemic?

At least it’s safe from all those God Damn vampires.

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