Family of Late Kraken Sues Trump for Defamation

UH OH!

For Marjorie, Amos, and Shamus Kraken, the world became hundreds of shades darker thirty-nine years ago when their family lost a loving father and husband to a terrifying murder that saw no justice or closure.  Young Shamus still has nightmares of that day when a mysterious zealot swept into their seaside home unannounced and swept out again with his father’s blood on his hands, evading authorities and vanishing.

Like the Red Hot Chili Peppers knocking over an ATM for heroin money.

“Daddy didn’t do anything wrong,” he says ruefully from the break room of a local Olive Garden where he’s been employed as a busboy for the last two decades.  “The authorities never caught that maniac and it tore our family apart.”

Now Marjorie’s late husband is being dragged through the news thanks to former Trump lawyer Sidney Powell, and the still grieving widow wants it to stop.  She’s filed a lawsuit through Atlantian firm Curry and Namor for seventeen million dollars for defamation and issued a cease and desist order for use of her surname.

“They had no right to bring my poor husband into their public affairs.  They should be spending their time and effort at reopening his case and finding him some peace.  I’m disgusted by Donald Trump.  And that’s saying something because I eat worms and discarded soda cans.”

Trump conspiracy leader Q also complained of being unfairly pushed into the affair.

Powell’s own lawyers have not responded for requests for comments.  But let’s hope they can lay this matter to rest for the good of the country – and for a devastated family just trying to hold itself together with loose tentacles and barnacle juice.

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