Liberals Protest to Ban ‘Brown Sugar’ From Radio Airplay

Liberals get offended by a lot of things.  Flammable water.  An outwardly racist President.  Birkenstocks that haven’t been daintily laced crosswise.  Now again, just like last Christmas, they’ve found another classic bit of music to cry about.  The Rolling Stones’ hit “Brown Sugar”, which they are now contending, out of nowhere, is racist.

Whitest Musician on Earth Dave Matthews will aid the effort by recording a folk version of “Straight Outta Compton.”

The 1971 song describes numerous sexual interactions between white slave owners and African American women, likening them to the popular confectionary sweetener popularly used to top creme brulee.  The San Francisco based group “Vulgarity Affecting Greatness In Musical Alacrity” has taken up a massive campaign to have the song permanently pulled from classic rock radio stations nationwide.  VAGIMA’s spokesperson Eileen Yooblow explained:

“The song is everything wrong with America.  It’s sexist, it’s racist, and it’s obscene.  It is so troubling, that we have suspended our campaigns against both ‘Heart-Shaped Box’, and ‘Sledgehammer.’  This is the kind of stuff that twist people into Trump supporters, and we can’t have it.”

“Are y’all sure that song’s about a woman? Cause I always picture Sidney Poitier.”

So far, no radio stations have signed on to the protest, and continue to play the entire discography of the Stones daily.  But if these liberals have their way, what could be next?  Taking away hot dogs for being “too phallic”?