‘MAGA For Moms’ Breaks Mother’s Day Sales Record


A new hit internet retail site made exclusively for Trump supporters, “MAGA For Moms” has shattered sales records for start-ups this Mother’s Day season, recording over 35 million dollars in sales to date.  The service, founded by entrepreneurs Ned and Sally Queefington of Mobile, Alabama, has become the hottest gifting craze since syphilis.

The business model of MAGA for Moms is simple – for about 50 dollars, the service will send a package with a photo of President Trump, a single red rose, and a patented “Pussy Grabber” device to any mom in the continental United States or Canada.  The owners expect to pussygrab Europe and Great Britain by next year.

The PussyGrabber, destined to bring new life to old folds.

Sally Queefington described a few upgrade packages that are provided at with slightly higher charges:

“There’s a Pussy Deluxe package, with a larger Grabber for our more full-figured moms.  That’s a fifteen dollar upcharge.  There’s also an option for more sensitive customers to add our exclusive “Covfefe Lotion” to aid in the ease and comfort of grabbing.  Also becoming quite popular is our ‘Border Baby Box”, each of which contains an adorable stuffed refugee invader child that comes in his own cage.  Those are big on the collectables market.”

All of MAGA for Moms’ offers are of products shipped right here to the good ol’ U. S. off A., from the best factories our Chinese friends have to offer.  Looks like it’s time for Mothers to be Actively Grabbed Again!

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