Michelle Obama Hires All-Star Team to Run Her 2020 Campaign

Michelle Obama has hired a team of election superstars to run her campaign for President in 2020. The campaign will be headed by none other than former Senator Al Franken.

Franken has hired 4 deputy campaign managers, including Condoleeza Rice, Edward James Olmos, Mr’s Beatty, Michelle’s 11th-grade English Lit teacher, and Terry Bradshaw’s son, Lenny.

The campaign will focus on “tearing down everything the orange shitgibbon Trump has done to our country and to return our nation to a state of general dignity.”

According to Franken, Trump supporters are “dense, ignorant taters in need of some schooling”:

“Thirty million American numbskulls are going to vote for this guy no matter how much he screws up, because they love his racism. They love his agenda of making white people great again. They love that he thinks brown people don’t belong.

Essentially, they are the worst America has to offer, and we are thoroughly looking forward to making them cry.”

Franken, who quit the Senate after admitting he had a small role in a photo that may or may not have disrespected a woman, has the audacity to consider Trump some kind of a sexist and racist based solely on the things he says and the actions he takes.

He does those things as President. In Donald Trump’s heart, there is nothing but love.

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About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 32 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.