Mexican Authorities Holding American Refugee Children in Pinata Camps


In a stunning discovery by teams of investigators affiliated with Amnesty International, news went public yesterday that Mexican border authorities have been separating American children from their parents and holding them in large “Pinata Camps” just south of the border.  Since the election of President Trump and a series of climate-change caused heat snaps, more and more American families have been moving south, seeking asylum from our neighbors.

Authorities have confirmed that many of the children haven’t had sushi in over a week.

Authorities insist that the children are treated Well, and are being kept perfectly safe within the specially built pinatas, but some human-rights groups are crying foul, protesting the facilities as “cruel and unusual.”  Head of Mexico’s Border Patrol, Jose Elonzo Chupacabras disagrees :

“These children could be being sex-trafficked.  They could be being used as drug moles.  How do we know?  The people they come with might not even be their parents.  We don’t know.  They’re very pale.  Ahora, adios.  Es tiempo para mi telenova.”

A preliminary inspection of the holding pinatas reveal airholes and insulation, but observers worry about lack of clean drinking water, toiletries, and other necessities.  While we here in America might ask : “How can anyone do this to children?”, It seems that Mexico’s answer is : “Callate, pendejos.”

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