The first Presidential debate last night was a contentious and chaotic shitshow, which many extreme racist groups found enthralling. President Trump’s consistent ignorance of “antifa”, likely driven by his obsession with joining his gullible and obnoxious followers in believing toxic nonsense he reads on Facebook pages organized by bumbletards.
A shining moment for the Trump Drooler Parade, however, came when Mr. Impeachy gave a shout out to the nation’s largest group of incel racists, the Proud Boys, who immediately changed their social media page out of pure glee and possibly, methamphetamine.
“This is definitely the go-ahead fer me to ask out that waitress what always runs away whens I stare at her down at the Beef-n-Queef,” noted assistant head boy Hammond Cheese. “I heard boobs is round and if ya squeeze em right, it makes a cow noise.”
“I’m a little scared to have to put my weiner right up close to a berginer,” added chicken-plucking boy Dusty Blueballs. “I been told by my cousin that they kin shoot out ray-der-ation like a microwave if’n it’s the wrong day. And then you might lose an eye or a other eye. But I’m still willin’ ta’ try.”
Thanks to President Trump, Proud Boys across the country are having a day of dreams before getting ready to stand by for the work to come. And it’s perfect timing. Halloween stores across the country will be stocked with adult-sized Halo soldier costumes.
“This gonna be even better than Red Dawn,” noted proud girl boy Sharon Kankersorez. “But like with selfies.”
