GOP Study:Screaming & Shouting Correlates To Increased Honesty

The truth is right in front of you

A recent study conducted by Reynolds, Blair and Sandhu Research Associates, a well-known psychological research institute in Derry, Maine has discovered a direct link between truth and volume. According to their spokesman Glenn Staley, it is virtually impossible to say anything but truth and facts when speaking in a loud tone of voice. He explained:

“We’ve all heard the Democrats during the so-called impeachment hearings – all very soft spoken. This shows an obvious lack of confidence and attempt at deception as they present their ‘facts.’

The Republicans were practically shouting! So confident! So forceful! One can’t help but believe everything they were saying!”

Rep. Lewis Colon (R-HI) was a great example of the validity of this research, starting his speech on the House floor with a bang, calling out everyone from Speaker Pelosi to Chuck Schumer at the top of his lungs, saying Beetlejuice 3 times, and closing with a God Bless America and Our Great Leader Vladimir Putin…..all to a rousing ovation from the House Republicans, protectors of honesty and integrity that they are.

Those treacherous Democrats stuck together with even tones and low volumes throughout the proceedings – not a shred of veracity or integrity to be heard amongst them all….yet still passed the impeachment articles through use of their numbers alone, each of their “Yea’s” seemingly whispered in comparison to the “Nays” bellowed at the top of Republucan lungs.

The American people heard the Republicans….. and had to crank up the volume to hear the Democrats, making it quite clear from which side the real facts came.