As the Republican National Convention churns to life this weekend, several guests and organizers were alarmed when Trump medical expert Stella Immanuel insisted on the wearing of her own brand of “special sunglasses” for every person in attendance, threatening to leave if her request went unmet.
Immanuel appeared on stage in her astral form an hour before the official start of the event and warned set-up crews that a concentrated effort of “camoflauged alien overlords” would be present to influence Republican policy during the convention, and could only be identified by donning the eyewear she would be providing.
“See that woman over there?”, the professional sorcerer barked, pointing at elderly Trump supporter Ann Gyna of Two Finger Lake, Oklahoma. “Looks normal, right? Put on these glasses? FORMALDEHYDE FACE!” The doctor then leapt from her perch and attempted to suplex a black individual who had mistakenly been let in by security.
Immanuel has also called for other last minute changes to be made at the convention, including having sorting hats at each entrance to weed out potential Ravenclaw troublemakers, and demanding that science-rival Buckaroo Banzai attend to ionize and identify any Lectroids from Planet 10 who may be in attendance.