Former First Lady and Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, is dead.
Her tragic end came earlier today when she travelled south to visit a detainment camp for migrant children in Texas. The trip has been planned as an opportunity for her to point fingers at and vilify President Trump…..but all did not go as planned.
On the flight down, Allied Airlines had a galley problem which resulted in a lack of meal service. Not even peanuts were available to passengers. Mrs Clinton was particularly perturbed by this as she had skipped breakfast and was relying on an in-flight meal to get right.
By the time, Clinton and her entourage arrived at Camp Caravan, she was ravenous. She began to shape shift, lurching as she walked, and growling at all who passed her by. People were actually scared of her, and rightfully so.
She tried to get herself together upon being introduced to the children. Little 3 year old Julio was placed into her arms and she smiled and cooed at the child. All seemed well….until it didn’t.
A loud complaint was heard from Clinton’s stomach. Then, in full view of everybody, Hillary threw her head forward and used her teeth to rip out a massive chunk of flesh from the shoulder of Julio as he screamed in pain. The crowd remained stunned long enough for Hill to clean all the meat from his bones and use those bone’s shards to clean between his teeth.
Unfortunately for America, Mexican food did not agree with Hillary. “Too spicy!” she was heard to gasp just moments before she fell to her death of heartburn.
RIP Hillary Rodham Clinton. You will be missed by somebody maybe. Probably Chelsea.