Ft. Lauderdale, FL- Tragedy at the Miss Hawaiian Tropic Pageant where Hillary Roadhouse Clinton met her maker.
Hillary entered the pageant after she had spent aeons working out to bring her already delicious body back to the form of her 20 year old self. She was in the best shape of her life and wanted the world to know it. She was the hands down favorite to win but her vanity brought that to an end.
After she astounded all in the talent competition, where she managed to murder family members of the judges before everybody’s eyes yet without detection, she prepared for the swimsuit competition. Clinton wanted her amazing new body to glow in her tiny bikini, so she slathered herself in gallons of sunscreen, creating a puddle on the floor. This puddle caused her to slip which led to her sash wrapping tight around her neck while simultaneously hooking on a coat hook in the wall. The life was choked out of her. Her lifeless, yet sexy body , was discovered hours later.
Hillary’s life was characterized by her husband’s constant infidelity. She had created this luscious body for Bill, wanting him to ravish her again. The pageant entry was to be her gift to her beloved. Sadly, we’ll never know if she was able to get the D.
RIP Hillary. May you get the f**king you deserve in the afterlife