Tragic Timing:Trump’s Bone Spurs Acting Up As Civil War Looms

The truth is right in front of you

For a man as brave, patriotic, and stalwart as President Trump, not being able to participate in the military foray into Vietnam must have been devastating. Surely he was heartbroken to not be able lead the troops into combat, knowing the military as well as he naturally does. And certainly , the conflict’s outcome would have been enormously different had our military have has the benefit of General Trump’s wisdom and strategy on the field of battle. A quick and decisive victory would have been almost predetermined.

Today, with civil war on the horizon, it looked like Trump may be getting a second chance. But tragically, this will probably not come to pass.

The President received terrible news on his most recent physical. His debilitating bone spur condition has returned, rendering him unable to be the active participant he longed to be in the coming unrest. His personal physician, Dr. Joseph M. Engele, explains this rare condition:

“These bone spurs prevent the victim from participating in any kind of life threatening situations. What happens is that they affect his nerve. Not any particular nerves but his nerve. You know the one.

Also affected are Mr Trump’s gumption, a gland which is directly related to outward strength and, most importantly, his balls. The bone spurs make his balls shrivel up so that they are barely detectable.

It’s horrible that the President had to suffer through this debilitating condition even once, but to have to go through it twice is truly tragic.”

When the spurs act up, mimicking the symptoms of having one’s testicles removed, Trump is gifted with the ability to sing in a marvellous soprano.

I’m sure that all Americans join us here at BustaTroll as we mourn this loss. President Trump’s participation could have made all the difference in the soon-to-come battle.