Trump Says Chicken Crossed Road To Attend MAGA Rally

President Trump has solved the age-old question people have been asking for hundreds, if not millions, of years.

No, it’s not “what is the meaning of life.” It isn’t “why are we here.” It has nothing to do with “what comes next.” It doesn’t even touch on “what comes first” and the question of eggs.

President Trump has figured out why the chicken crossed the road.

According to an insider now wanted for treason for leaking classified information who may or may not be Trump’s alter-ego, our fearless leader laid it all out in an emergency cabinet meeting that required no fewer than 11 forms of pastries:

“The chicken, it was a good chicken. It showed up in Tulsa. And by the way there were 12,000 people there, not the 60000 the fake news fire marsall said were there, and there were hundreds of millions of armed BLM rioters and you couldn’t even get close and we still had nearly a million people reserve tickets. And the Chinese worked their magic and interfered with the mail-in ballots with coronavirus for John Lewis and a bunch of Tik Tok kids and did you know they can’t even pray?

“That’s right, folks. They can’t pray. The liberals and the pedophiles that spent all that money trying to cover for Obamagate couldn’t even buy James Colmey a range Rover and Roger Stone is a patriot for trying to bring that whole thing down.

And in the end, the chicken wa given a nuclear submarine and sent back in seqarch of the Garden of Edem. Can you believe that?

God woirks in mysterious ways, and God loves America most.”

The President’s words resonated with a crowd of imbeciles and a collection of morons, most of whom were at bars without masks discussing how 60  million Americans got Swine Flu and how had it not been for Trump, Obama would have killed all the Katrina survivors by letting Al Qaeda go into the Superdome to keep Chris Kyle from killing all those looters.

Anyway, in a special announcement at the last special announcement from the Rose Garden before Melania turns it into an adult film studio, Trump said the chicken definitely crossed the road to attend a MAGA rally.

Don’t believe it? You must hate America. TRUMP 2020!!!!!

 

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About Flagg Eagleton 30 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.