Trump Wants American Forest Fires To Be #1;’We Are Way Behind Brazil’

The truth is right in front of you

As soon as President Trump heard the other G7 leaders go on and on about the Amazon forest fire in Brazil, the embarrassment set in. These leaders couldn’t stop talking about it. It was such a big deal to them. Such a big deal that each and every one of them pledged massive amounts of financial support – millions of dollars – to assist in the fighting of said fire.

Thinking about his own country’s infernos, Trump could feel nothing but shame. Sure, California’s forest fires were growing every year, and yes, he had sworn he would cut federal aid to fight their fires, but he felt it wasn’t enough. Even the largest ever west coast ravaging by flame had never garnered this much attention. Trump felt inadequate.

So, in a speech today before the American press and plainly directed at his people in congress, he let his feelings be known:

“America used to be number one in all things. Across the board, noomero uno. These days, after decades of bad leadership, that’s no longer the case. I realized that again today after hearing about the huge fire in the Amazon jungle. NOW THAT’S A FIRE!!

I thought our California wildfires were pretty darn big. I thought there were world class but folks, we have fallen way behind. We are way behind Brazil and we have to do better. America has to do better if we want to be number one.

Our wildfire output this year has been pathetic. But the summer’s not over! If we out in a little extra effort, we can make those blazes bigger. This is America! We can do anything!

Also, if our fire’s are bigger, other countries will pay to put them out! Win win!

Let’s get started!”

There’s been no word on when, or even if, this new Trump plan will go into effect. We here at BeBest will keep you informed as details arise.