Planned Parenthood Killed 27,747,268 Babies Last Year

The truth is right in front of you

Faced with what could be their final year in the baby killing business, Planned Parenthood pulled out all the stops last year so they could go out with a bang. The chain went on an advertising blitz – using our tax dollars – and let promiscuous woman across the nation know that their time of worry-free, haphazard sexual intercourse with random strangers was about to come to an end.

Special discounted prices were offered for “abortion virgins”, with the add-on “Try it once and you’ll be addicted!” With that slogan in mind, “2 For 1” deals were promoted, as well as “stamp cards” that allowed the user to “Undergo 9 abortion procedures, get the 10th one free!” No expense was spared in reaching their target audience over several months. And it worked. Hussies and Jezebels from each of the 50 states were lining up at the door to take advantage of the superb murder options while they still could.

PP collected more than 100,000 filled loyalty cards.

Planned Parenthood’s Head of Speculometry, Joe Barron, told us about their incredible record year:

“This was a banner year, not just for abortion providing but for everything that follows. Organ sales, pituitary glands, deli sales, our adrenochrome sales were enormous. We have never before had such a superb year, numbers-wise. It was bloody fabulous! Ha ha. Get it?

The ladies couldn’t get enough. Getting an abortion is like a drug. It’s a high like no other. Now that so many millions more know that feeling, I don’t expect we will be defunded for long. Those women will be putting a lot of pressure on congress to reinstate our money so that they can get their next fix. Hell, if we could perform that many procedures every year, we wouldn’t even need public funds. We’d take it anyway but we wouldn’t need it.”

Government money is being pulled from the abortion clinics as the immorality of their business does not go well with government’s role. And not a moment too soon. These people’s bloodlust is out of control.