Whitney Houston’s Hologram Overdoses During Concert Tour

OH NO!

In an unfortunate case of art programmed a little too well to imitate life, Whitney Houston’s holographic representation suffered an overdose last night in Trenton, New Jersey while on stage during a performance.  The simulated Ms. Houston is in “fair to semi-cohesive” condition in an emergency mainframe.

Computer engineer Joe Barron describes what led to the horrific event :

“Well see, we programmed the hologram of Me. Houston to be as lifelike as humanly possible with millions of gigabytes of data.  Her voice, of course, her performing style, but also much of her personal details.  We want the audience to really believe in her, have a full Whitney experience.  Well apparently her unfortunate chemical dependence made it into the mix, and the programming just took over.  I think we can get her clean.  At least we scrapped the idea to have her stored with a Bobby Brown hologram.”

“Hey, yo, I didn’t even touch her! I mean, I tried, but my hand went right through the ho’s ass!”

The tour has paused for the simulacrum songstress to recover, which may take up to two weeks while it endures a rehabilitory debugging.  We wish Closest-Thing-To-Whitney the best in her battle.