With all the sickness in the child migrant summer camps, deaths, it seems, were inevitable. They were all so ill before they even crossed our border that their demise could not have been prevented. What was not known was what exactly afflicted them. Hillary Clinton found out when she visited the camps today.
Upon arrival at the cages, Hillary was overcome with emotion by all of the small bodies sprawled all over the floor. She entered one cage and approached them. Seeing one small boy in the center, she knelt to him, picked him up, then gasped. “This little boy is dead!”
Before more words could come out, there came a gargling noise and spurting blood as the boy opened his glowing eyes and took a bite out of her throat. As Clinton fell to the ground, dozens of other children also rose, slowly lurching toward the body of the former First Lady, which they began to gnaw on with carnivorous lust. And with that Hillary Clinton was dead.
Doctors now tell us that the children were dead upon arrival. It’s likely that the border patrol merely housed them in the camps for optics and to prevent a nationwide panic. In doing so, they probably prevented a full blown American zombie apocalypse. Thank a border guard today.
Oh, and RIP Hillary.